While there is still so much we don’t know about COVID, and still so much we really don’t know about sex, there are plenty of things we know that can assist us in this anything but chocolate and peanut butter combination that has many of us flatlining sexually.
Experiencing high levels of anxiety and uncertainty are not aphrodisiacs. They tend to create sexual aversion or disinterest.
Experiencing financial insecurity and stress has a direct correlation to low sexual desire. For instance, when a person loses their job, it’s not uncommon to have erection difficulties, low arousal response or to completely lose interest in sex.
Both second chakra issues, sex and money are linked to each other for a variety of reasons.
Then there is all the resentment many of us are feeling because many aspects of life are on hold or impossible to experience right now. Resentment is a sexual repellant, nothing really sexy there.
Our loneliness is high, or frustrations with family members we can’t get a break from. Of course, being in close quarters with kids home all the time and more people around makes maintaining an erotic juicy life difficult.
And for those of us who are not partnered, dating is pretty challenging right now. Opportunities for finding new sexual partners is tremendously diminished.
So what does all this add up to? How do we get it on with all this at work? There are a few key things we can all do, no matter our situation, to bring our sexy back.
1. Get Creative
Creativity has always been the name of the game to keep your sex life juicy and alive, especially in long-term relationships, but right now, it’s a survival skill.
Learning how to have long distance sex, writing love letters, role playing, re-upping our phone sex and dirty talk skills, getting the gadgets we need in order to get all the right camera angles for sex-on-video, learning to do sexy things that don’t involve swapping spit and other fluids, and deep sensuality are where it’s at if you want to have sex life during COVID and you don’t have a live-in fluid-bonded partner.
Discovering new ways you can be creative with partners who are not near you, with dating or meeting new people, and with a partner you now see ALL the time is the clear path to fulfilling experiences in this tremendously uncertain time.
2. It’s ON for Ecosexuality
Nature is hot. By hot, I mean Sexy AF, supercharged sexually, a total turn-on. Sexuality is everywhere in nature, in case you hadn’t noticed this wild fact. And you can let that turn you on. If ecosexuality has felt weird to you or just too out there, reconsider that position.
There are landscapes so erotic that our bodies light up with endorphins and oxytocin just being in them. If you want to take it to the next step, make love to that rock or tree you love, let the sun dance your skin, allow the birdsong to light you up like your favorite song, swim in the ocean and invite her to cleanse your ills, and as you float and become one with the water, allow your turn-on to build and evolve like the waves of her. Get juicy with the wind.
We are all flocking to Mother Nature right now as our safe haven so why not make it your sexy lair? She has no shame about her sexiness. She lives for it. She thrives on it. It’s who she is. Just like us, except we got way more baggage that gets in the way of our enjoyment of it.
Get your ecosexual or ecoerotic on and see what opens up for you in your body, your vitality, your arousal and your energy. Let the great Mother provide some erotic lessons you will never forget.
3. Living Through Uncertainty Has Become a Super Power
Let’s get real, many of us are becoming badasses at not knowing what is coming next, and being alright with that. It doesn’t mean we love it, but we are learning to ride change like a bucking horse.
Uncertainty and change is always the name of the game, we have simply avoided that reality by hiding behind our routines, daily rituals, expectations, privileges and plans.
If we just stick to the plan, everything will be alright, right? Not anymore. Because we don’t know what the plan is. It changes as fast as people in a revolving door.
While it may be incredibly uncomfortable, we are living in a time of complete breakdown, reorganization and restructuring. The patriarchy and systems that support it are crumbling. Those who are thriving are making living in that volatility their super power.
If you learn to ride the waves and not let every little thing rock you, it frees up your energy for the things you want to give it to. If you choose, you can even get off on the supernatural change that surrounds us and get your joyride on. The uncanny unexpected can be very sexy if you embrace it. Fight it and not so much.
Most people say they want more sexual adventure. Well what better time to create unexpected wild adventures than during a global pandemic and economic collapse?
For this one to work well, please refer to #1. You can do it if you choose it.
4. Keep Your Self-Pleasure Active
I know many people just have no patience or desire to jerk off right now, and keeping your own sexual energy moving and active is the fuel to help you through the hard times.
Sometimes it means scheduling it because you just won’t think to do it otherwise.
Sometimes it means deciding that it’s like vitamins and you know it will be good for you in the long-run, so you’re willing, if not aroused.
That’s okay. Whether you have a full on masturbation practice, or you delight yourself with bubble baths, work outs, music and other delights, make sure you are creating pleasure and sensuality for yourself. Play. Screw off. Do what you want. Buy yourself something sexy to wear just because it feels good. Do it for you.
As hard as it may be to believe at times, our world will get through this. And we will be better for it, if we are still here.
Keep nourishing yourself with the human pleasures and joys that make you feel good. No matter what, you still have ways you get to feel good. And we all need more of that right now.