I feel revived with hope. Before Fire Woman so much shit was smacking the walls, and the horror show of the Kavanaugh hearings was happening. Then I had the joy of spending three days with the perfect group of women who are ready to build something new inside themselves and to shed all the shrouds of shame, guilt, unworthiness, diminishment, unrequited longing and smothered desire they have been wearing.
Every woman who fully stepped into space at Fire Woman determined to grow, to own her power anew, to challenge the places in herself that have kept her small had magnificent breakthroughs.
I watched the tension and heaviness lift from their faces.
I felt their energy move and grow.
I watched them take risks and allow themselves to be vulnerable.
Nothing compares to that live interactive community, witnessing and what profound healing it brings.
Just this morning a woman said that she felt totally at choice for possibly the very first time in her life. She got to be there for HER, and do what SHE needed. This brings tears of joy to me, for so many women are living their lives for someone else: their partners, their children, their parents, their bosses, their co-workers, their friends who want to keep them where they used to be, rather than support us where we are going.
It’s time we choose where we are going and how we want to get there.
It’s time we do things for ourselves rather than for everyone else.
It’s time we realize deep in our bones what it means to be fully at choice.
Below is one of my guest teachers Kaweah teaching some self-care tools and I just love this b/w photo from Fire Woman.
I’ll share more photos with you in the coming weeks but here’s a little peak. This is me with the 11 Archetypes on Friday night after the Sexual Archetype Ritual. It was phenomenal!! We got rained on and it did not stop us one bit!
There’s one archetype that so many women struggle with that comes up all the time: The Good Girl.
My friend and colleague Marcia Baczynski teaches about “The Good Girl” a familiar archetype for most of us, since we are trained to be her. We had some great conversations about the good girl over our weekend.
Marcia was supposed to be there and she got sick, so she offered to do a call for the Fire Women about the Good Girl–and I decided I would open it up to all of my community because I know it is going to be awesome.
The Good Girl is the voice inside your head that tells you your feelings are too big and too messy. She says that you’re too much…And not enough. She makes you aim for perfection in all things. She tries to make everyone else happy, at the expense of her true needs and wants. She shames you for your sexual desires…And locks your creativity, eroticism and joy up tight.
The Good Girl is a tyrant, and she knows no mercy. She pins you to an identity so tightly defined that it’s impossible to achieve. Demanding that you be absolutely nice, well-mannered, modest, and selfless, she paralyzes you with self-criticism, limits your power and potential, and stunts your capacity to learn new skills and habits.
In short, the Good Girl is a bitch. And you are her main target.
The good news is that these voices and messages are not YOU.
You don’t have to be “good” to be loved.
And you’re not alone.