Relationships

Pleasure & Desire

Sexual Empowerment

Sexual Politics & Culture

For Educators & Sex Coaches

Revenge porn is a tool of the patriarchy

Revenge porn is a tool of the patriarchy

This year I passionately worked on the ground for House Representative Katie Hill’s campaign in northern Los Angeles. My friends and I were committed to helping this young, smart woman win a seat that had been held by Republicans for decades. This week Katie Hill...

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How hidden shame impacts sexuality

How hidden shame impacts sexuality

One of the most common things people say they want when it comes to sexuality is to release the shame and guilt they carry about it. Most people are walking around with hidden shame about sex, their bodies, pleasure, their desires, or their attractions and kinks....

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DeArmouring & ReWilding the Sexual Self

DeArmouring & ReWilding the Sexual Self

Dearmouring and ReWilding are interrelated aspects of our healing that allow us to move fully towards true liberation and freedom.  The work I do as a sexual empowerment educator and healer uses both the clearing mechanism of dearmouring processes and fills the...

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“Confidence has nothing to do with sexuality”

“Confidence has nothing to do with sexuality”

Last week I received an email from a woman who was very upset because she had taken my Confidence Types Quiz and she was shocked that there were questions about sexuality on it. Gasp! I get that people might not like Facebook asking questions about sexuality or...

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The Good Girl vs. the Authentic Woman

The Good Girl vs. the Authentic Woman

It’s no secret that women are socialized to take care of everyone else, to question ourselves, and to take a back seat in business, money and sex. As women, being second-class, paid less, experiencing double-standards and being expected to take care of everyone but...

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What’s a Sex Coach?

What’s a Sex Coach?

When I tell someone that I’m a sex coach, they generally find it confusing. Often, I will hear, “Oh, so like, you’re a sex therapist?” Well not exactly. “So then, what is it that you actually do?”

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What Sexual Empowerment Really Means

What Sexual Empowerment Really Means

We learn to deal with sexuality in deficits. What’s not there. What we don’t have. What we can’t be. What we can’t do. What we need to stay away from. I’d like to swing the lens around 180 degrees and take a look at what we DO want. What we CAN be. What we CAN have. What we CAN do. What types of lovers we CAN draw to us. What experiences we CAN create for ourselves. How we can EXPAND who we are exponentially when we develop, nurture, heal and explore our sexuality.

This week, I want to answer the question, “What does it mean to be a sexually empowered person?”

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Unpacking Santa and Consent

Unpacking Santa and Consent

I was walking in Pasadena yesterday and happened upon a local holiday fair, with live music, food, lots of people and a good long line to sit on Santa's lap. I walked by the entryway near the line and saw Mrs. Claus sitting in a chair, but no one was sitting on her...

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My Birthday, Your Wildness

My Birthday, Your Wildness

Last Nov. 9 was my birthday--a much better one than in 2016, the day after the election, possibly one of the most collectively depressing days in recent U.S. history. I'm a words-of-appreciation lover so I do love cards and letters if you feel moved to send me one...

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Releasing Your Sexual Armor

Releasing Your Sexual Armor

Hope you had a fun, ghoulish Halloween, or celebration of Day of the Dead. It is a time of year when the veils between the worlds are said to be thin and calling on your ancestors can be particularly powerful. I couldn't help myself and I dressed as a sexy patriot, a...

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Two Sexual Abuse Operations Have Just Been Exposed

Two Sexual Abuse Operations Have Just Been Exposed

The Tower is falling. Last week two big organizations ostensibly dedicated to sexual evolution and skills building were brought to their knees. There are a lot of fakes--it's too easy to hang a shingle and call yourself a sex coach, sex educator, tantra practitioner...

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Healing The Good Girl

Healing The Good Girl

I feel revived with hope. Before Fire Woman so much shit was smacking the walls, and the horror show of the Kavanaugh hearings was happening. Then I had the joy of spending three days with the perfect group of women who are ready to build something new inside...

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Boys Will Be Boys

Yesterday felt familiar. It felt like the day in 1991 when I was a senior in college at UCSB and I sat watching the confirmation hearings for Clarence Thomas as Anita Hill was interviewed about the ways he had sexually harassed her. The discussions of porn. The pubic...

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I Believe Christine Blasey Ford

At last, women are saying this is enough. Sexual violence will not be ignored or treated as business as usual. We will not stand by and blindly watch a new Supreme Court Justice be confirmed who assaulted a woman, no matter how young he was. That says a lot about who...

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What Surfaced From My Dark Night of the Soul

I've been quiet about what's been going on with me lately and I've got to tell you, it has been a dark night of the soul for sure. We all have them. Usually, for me, they happen when I am not doing what I really want to be doing in my life, or not spending my time the...

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Sexuality & a 9-year-old’s Suicide

This is heartbreaking. I work with adults around healing and empowering their sexuality because no matter what our age, we need that. This week we lost a sweet 9-year old boy to suicide. Jamel Myles had come out as gay to his mom who accepted him and told him she...

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