Pleasure & Desire

Sexual Empowerment

Sexual Politics & Culture

For Educators & Sex Coaches

13 Things You Can Do Right NOW

Dear Mother Earth, I want to say I am sorry. I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to just chew us up and spit us out. We’ve not been very good to you. We are the biggest squatters—we don’t pay our rent or do our part for the health of you. We take all your resources and...

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Why We Get Disconnected from Sex and Personal Power

“My sexuality has never been about me…it was always a performance for someone else.” “I didn’t know I had a sexuality to DO anything with!” “I did what he wanted to do sexually and pretended to like it so he would stay with me.” “I’ve never enjoyed sex.” Those are...

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Love’s In Need of Love Today

Happy Day of Love! Dia de Amor! Valentines! I hope you are filling yourself up with self-love and feeling deep presence to the relationships you have. Take a moment today to honor the role that love plays in your life.  Whether you have a lover or...

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Let’s Get Loud About Superbowl Slut Shaming

J. Lo and Shakira did a fantastic, stylized, powerful, s£xy Puerto-Rican pride-filled halftime show that showcased girls of color, asked them to raise their voices and gave them the spotlight. And all we can do is complain about their skimpy clothes, pole dancing and...

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How To Tame Your Scorpion

It's hard for many people unfamiliar with the idea of developing a sexuality intentionally to imagine how one works in the inner sexual life. How do you uncover the shadows that keep you stuck in sexual ruts, dissatisfaction, disconnection, frustration and...

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Surrendering to Life: The Inventory of the Un-Done

Over the last month I’ve been very sick—sicker than I have ever been in my life. I’ve had every test under the sun to figure out what is wrong and everything kept coming out normal, which on one hand was good news but on the other hand left questions with no answers. ...

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Halloween is the Most Sexual Holiday

Last week I had to write about Katie Hill given the political situation that had erupted. I got a huge response from that article—thank you to everyone who wrote in and expressed your thoughts, whether or not we agreed. I always appreciate hearing from my readers and...

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Revenge porn is a tool of the patriarchy

This year I passionately worked on the ground for House Representative Katie Hill’s campaign in northern Los Angeles. My friends and I were committed to helping this young, smart woman win a seat that had been held by Republicans for decades. This week Katie Hill...

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How hidden shame impacts sexuality

One of the most common things people say they want when it comes to sexuality is to release the shame and guilt they carry about it. Most people are walking around with hidden shame about sex, their bodies, pleasure, their desires, or their attractions and kinks....

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DeArmouring & ReWilding the Sexual Self

Dearmouring and ReWilding are interrelated aspects of our healing that allow us to move fully towards true liberation and freedom.  The work I do as a sexual empowerment educator and healer uses both the clearing mechanism of dearmouring processes and fills the...

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“Confidence has nothing to do with sexuality”

Last week I received an email from a woman who was very upset because she had taken my Confidence Types Quiz and she was shocked that there were questions about sexuality on it. Gasp! I get that people might not like Facebook asking questions about sexuality or...

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The Good Girl vs. the Authentic Woman

It’s no secret that women are socialized to take care of everyone else, to question ourselves, and to take a back seat in business, money and sex. As women, being second-class, paid less, experiencing double-standards and being expected to take care of everyone but...

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What’s a Sex Coach?

When I tell someone that I’m a sex coach, they generally find it confusing. Often, I will hear, “Oh, so like, you’re a sex therapist?” Well not exactly. “So then, what is it that you actually do?”

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What Sexual Empowerment Really Means

We learn to deal with sexuality in deficits. What’s not there. What we don’t have. What we can’t be. What we can’t do. What we need to stay away from. I’d like to swing the lens around 180 degrees and take a look at what we DO want. What we CAN be. What we CAN have. What we CAN do. What types of lovers we CAN draw to us. What experiences we CAN create for ourselves. How we can EXPAND who we are exponentially when we develop, nurture, heal and explore our sexuality.

This week, I want to answer the question, “What does it mean to be a sexually empowered person?”

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