Permission for Pleasure

Permission for Pleasure

Most of us need the permission to step out of the confinements of whatever limiting behaviors we have been taught, and when we do, we find parts of ourselves that were lying dormant, wanting expression.

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Am I Sexually Broken?

Am I Sexually Broken?

One of the greatest fears I hear from people from all walks of life and backgrounds, is that they are sexually broken. Many times they are welling up with tears, and this is the first time they’ve ever voiced this to someone. It’s painful to feel like you are sexually...

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2020 Sexual Year in Review

We may have been quarantined, on lockdown, social distancing, missing our favorite restaurants and outings, longing for friend hangouts, challenged with online dating, touch deprived, sick of tight quarters with our live-ins or just off kilter with the arrangement of...

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Divorce is a Developmental Stage of Adulthood

Divorce is a Developmental Stage of Adulthood

Many women show up in my sexual empowerment work on the heels of their divorce.   The feelings in post-divorce can range from feeling betrayed, like you missed out on something important, regret that you have boxed yourself up and...

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How “Clever Complaining” Blocks Our Abundance

How “Clever Complaining” Blocks Our Abundance

The idea of being abundant and creating abundance is ubiquitous, and yet so many of us have a chronic problem with possibly the biggest abundance blocker there is: Complaining.  Complaining sucks the life out of your relationships and...

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What’s a Sex Coach?

What’s a Sex Coach?

When I tell someone that I’m a sex coach, they generally find it confusing. Often, I will hear, “Oh, so like, you’re a sex therapist?” Well not exactly. “So then, what is it that you actually do?”

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This Is What 50 Looks Like!

This Is What 50 Looks Like!

I turned 50 this week! It's very surreal to think back to when you're a kid and you think that people in their 40s and 50s are so old! I don't actually feel old at all and people never think I'm my age and that's because of the way that I live. To be fair it's also...

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My Love Letter to Betty Dodson, fly in Pleasure! 1929-2020

My Love Letter to Betty Dodson, fly in Pleasure! 1929-2020

The Great Freedom Fighter, Betty Dodson, has left the planet. She taught more women how to have orgasms than anyone else ever--no small feat. I called her when I was a graduate student working on my thesis on masturbation in the mid-90s and asked for support, which...

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Why We Feel Bad About Feeling Good: The Top 5 Pleasure-Blockers

Why We Feel Bad About Feeling Good: The Top 5 Pleasure-Blockers

It’s hard for so many of us to feel true pleasure. We don’t allow ourselves to feel good. It doesn’t really make any sense. Why? Why would we block ourselves from the pleasure and good feelings that are ours to have? If we thought nothing about our life or our day...

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Here’s the equation: BE + DO = HAVE

Here’s the equation: BE + DO = HAVE

I will not lay down. I will not be resigned that “it’s just gonna be like it always is. Nothing will change.”  Someone actually posted a comment to that effect this week on a post about the phone banking I have been doing.  How do you think the world...

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The Modern Sexual Priestess & the Sexually Uninitiated

The Modern Sexual Priestess & the Sexually Uninitiated

“Often sensations that we experience as terrible or painful are just pleasure without approval.” Carolyn Elliott Once upon a time in many cultures, there was such thing as a sexual priestess. She may not have been called that, but she was an older, sexually wise and...

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The New Violence of Forced Sterilization

The New Violence of Forced Sterilization

This week, a nurse at an ICE detention center blew the whistle on alleged mass forced/coerced sterilizations of women at the facility. If true, this is a horrific human rights violation.  Forced sterilization has a long ugly history in this country and other...

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Dancing Around Sexual Vulnerability

Dancing Around Sexual Vulnerability

There are so many ways we run up against our vulnerability. We fight it because it feels tender and some might consider it “weak”—which couldn’t be further from the truth.

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What It Means To Be Non-Binary

What It Means To Be Non-Binary

Last year my best friend told me by phone that my niece AnaMaria had started to use “they/them” pronouns. She said they might call me at some point to tell me more about it. I texted on and off with my niece as we often would but no mention of it. I figured when the...

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What if you were that powerful?

What if you were that powerful?

I have been a coach for a transformational leadership program these last two weeks and the immediacy of how the lessons come is something I have experienced rarely in life.   The truth is that most people have NO IDEA how powerful they are. We literally source...

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Sexual Archetypes 101

Sexual Archetypes 101

There have been many questions about archetypes and some intrigue about them, so this week I thought I’d give you a little primer about my approach to these archetypes and why they matter.

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The Connection Between Sexuality & Spirituality

The Connection Between Sexuality & Spirituality

Often made complicated, the connection between spirituality and sexuality is so much more simple than we make it.

Spirituality is our connection to our spirit, to the non-physical aspects of self. We grow our spirituality to grow as an eternal being, as a life-force beyond this physical plane. Our spirituality gives us a purpose for our human life.

Sexuality is our relationship to our body, to pleasure, to our sensuality and to sex—all manifestations of living in a physical human body and experiencing our humanness to the greatest extent and the most intimate core.

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